Alright lets get one thing straight, I LOVE Christmas, I love traditions and I adore spending time off with friends and family and having my beloveddddd sleep!!
I usually get the whole Christmas period off if I'm honest but this year I don't actually mind, however it's not like I get no days off.
So.
Beginning of December it's usually planning planning planning, moaning about the fact I should have had this sorted and now only have 24 days left to get things in 😂.
I then tend to get the deccies sorted and fuck that uo somehow, for instance year before last I lost a leg from my Christmas tree and spent the holiday season with the tree propped up against my wall and tinsel covering the wrong side with the branches bent because drunk me decided it was ok to start decorating the tree half cut. Last year I bough 2 small pop up trees because my flat is sickeningly small, I wouldn't even consider it a flat if it wasn't down as that on my tenancy agreement 🖕. I also bought like 5 meters of tinsel for about £2 thinking that was an absolute bargain, until I unravelled what can only be described as the rats tail of tinsel town, honestly this shit was wafer thin all round like a cable with a bit of sparkly fluff on it... but me being the stubborn arse that I am deciddd fuck it I'll just wrap it round the tele and shit. So ye, minus the roof, it looked like a hobo's hang out.
Once the delicious decorating is done I tend to do the to and fro with my mum. Where I ask what she wants for Christmas, which I have been asking her for over 2 months and still have no answer because she likes to blank me. Eventually she will give me a list of anything and everything a shop could possibly sell that you would deem an appropriate present for a female, and say... anything from that. So with the 2 saturdays I have left and the after work week days and 30 minute dinner breaks I will have to gather half decent Christmas presents she will reluctantly open carefully so as not to tear the wrapping paper in a messy way? Because apparently we tuck it away and use it again?? Seriously rip it, I bite mine open and everything. Then I'll get my dad, brothers, grandparents and friends etc.
Christmas nights out are always a tradition right? I usually have 2 or 3 that is MY tradition. Usually resulting in me looking something like this...
Yes, I am absolutely blotto there and stole the tinsel I am wrapped in from the tree of the previous night club.
Sorting boxing night, usually my job 🙄. Because lets face it I get shit done. Tickets boxed off then i like to stress myself out by shopping for a dress and shoes, this year I settled on this little number...
Boobs galore and I shall require all the plunge bras, tit tape and possibly super glue that my money can afford to have me looking anywhere near as flaeless and respectable as this little beauty.
Christmas dinner. Okay so I might be 26, but I'm single with no kids and the oldest of 3 kids so I've always felt the need to ensure none of my parents are alone on Christmas. I'm not a complete bitch folks, but I said MY traditions not everyone elses and these are my honest traditions. I have to rethink the last couple years to make sure I spend Christmas eve with the alternative parent to last year and the same for Christmas day, so this year it's dads Christmas eve and with the mother Christmas day.
My best mate usually comes with us for Christmas dinner, this changed a but when she had her little one but only as she seems to have to spend a little time with her exes family because lets be honest, they're the babies family too right. However, this year me my mum and brother are going to her house for the first time ever which should be both chaotic and cute!
Christmas eve is usually spent in the pub. Because that's my happy place right? Usually with the girls getting smush faced and merry. I try and scarper home to which ever of the parents I'm at and begging them to let me open a present as if I'm a child, to which they will reluctantly agree even though it's blatantly obvious they don't care and just want the drunken mess they created to shut up and go to bed which I will most definitely NOT do with out my Christmas Jarmies. Which I got told was only a Liverpool thing, can someone not from Liverpool/England PLEASE set this record straight for me?
Christmas day I will wake up early (I know right) and open my prezzies with my cooked brekky one of the parents will have made (mums is the best she's a good egg). And then impatiently shove their presents at them like a dog with a bone until they unwrap them. Then I'll have a glass if bubbly or wine or possibly a v&t after my cuppa and go do the rounds getting progressively more drunk, tired and fat, ruining all and any dieting I have done to avoid being bloated on boxing night through out the entire winter season...
Then I will usually go home (this year I'm staying at Lornas) get in more new jarmies, do a quick skin care routine and get in bed watching a Christmas film and go to sleep with a big happy smile on my face that once again Christmas has been a smashing success just because I got it all done in 24 days and spent it with my people 💖 because lets be honest, that's what it's all about. Plus tomorrow I'll be glammed up and out to shake my shimmy with my prinny dolls 💖.
And that ladies and gents is my Christmas and my traditions pretty much in a nut shell, and short of a nice fella, I wouldn't change it for all the money and prezzies in the world.
As always.
Don't be a stranger and stay safe.
x.x