Tis the season to be jolly, and by jolly I mean drunk 😁. I can't deal with sober Christmas's and that will probably be because I've never had a reason to be 🤷♀️.
And as we all know if there's something I love it's a good stiff... drink. Haha filthy bugger, mind out the gutter. Neh I do love the peen too lets not lie I am a heterosexual human woman 🤷♀️.
So without further a due I shall bring to you 5 Christmas drinks, and no I didn't invent these, I just enjoy them 🙃.
#1* Raspberry Martini Fizz - because I love a good martini and I love raspberries. Who doesn't love a fruity drink? I mean raspberries boost heart health and help beat signs of aging so aren't we really doing an injustice by not having this magical little mix.
To make this little fruity beauty you will need the following:-
350ml martini rosso
150ml of gin (mmm gin)
2 bottles of chilled wine or prosecco, or even asti spumante it's my fave!
Optional 24 raspberries
4 tea spoons icing sugar
What you have to do:-
Mix the martini and the gin together and chill.
Put glasses in the fridge/freezer to chill (chill, not shatter)
Spoon 1/2 tsp of icing sugar into glass add in the gin/martini mix, throw in some raspberries and top up with the lovely sparkling wine, annnnnd enjoy. You should have something that looks like this...
#2* Bitter Orange and Cardamom Martini 😍
Doesn't that just sound delish?! Dead posh and fancy? Well actually it's a pretty straight forward recipe, just a bit of a pain in the arse. All you need to do is follow the recipe and instructions I will lay out for you below.
To make this you will need:-
12 cardamom pods
6 tablespoons of seville orange marmalade (ooh fancy)
400ml vodka (now we're talking 😝)
125ml contreau
4tbsp lemon juice
And ice to serve
To make this you will need to:-
Bash 6 of the cardamom pods in a bowl until they split. If you want to be fancy use a pestle, but I don't have one so I'll improvise by slumming it thanks, (less money on appliances is more money for booze remember that).
Then you need to melt the marmalade in a pan, and whisk in the vodka. Add the crushed pods. Make sure that you ONLY warm the mix for a couple mins, DO NOT boil it! Leave to infuse off the heat for 20 mins, and strain. (Props to the patient ones)
Add contreau and lemonade and put it in the fridge/freezer to chill. To serve put a bit more marmalade (optional) in the bottom of the glass. Add ice and a cardamom pod if you feel like going all out.
Serve and enjoy.
And again you should have something like below...
#3* Angels Kiss
For those of you who just love coffee as much as my yr 10 RE teacher, this one is for you!! Now these look more like a pudding than a drink to be honest and I'm mot one for all the cream you know, being a lactose intolerant mess bag and all. But for those of you lucky enough to live abd let live and not watch your waist line, here you go, follow the steps below...
You will need only 3 ingredients lucky you (just lucky all over aren't you):-
400ml tia maria
16 tbsp double cream (why don't you just lash in the whole tub!)
Cocoa (for dusting, so this is basically cream that gets you drunk, like a lower class baileys)
To make this frothy little mixture you will need to:-
Pour the tia maria into cocktail glasses or really small glasses. Hover a teaspoon over the tia maria and pour the double cream over the back of the spoon so it just sits nicely on top looking like a nice little lid for your straight TM. Then just to make this seem like a more acceptable drink dust it with a little but of cocoa and we're golden. Because if you can't be gluttonous with alcohol and food around Christmas then when can you??
#4* Mulled Pear and Cranberry Punch
Because even though I absolutelt HATE it, what is Christmas without some kind of mulled something alcoholic right? So I'm stepping away from the mulled wine, and going a bit outside the box (with the help of the internet)
In order to make this cloudy Christmas punch you will need:-
1l pear cider
1l pear or cloudy apple juice
1l cranberry juice
good handful fresh or dried cranberries (because everyone loves a looker)
150ml sloe gin (mmmmm sloe gin, insert homer head)
2 cinnamon
sticks2 vanilla pods, scored lengthways (because for some reason it's important what way it goes).
Now as with most punch drinks the ingredients are the biggest hoof in the hoop, and all you're doing is lashing them in a big ole bowl, or slow cooker, or cauldron if you're the type to burn your exes clothes, I don't know your preference darling. Just before serving you need to turn it up a little but on the heat to just before it starts simmering, ladle and serve. So that's how you make it pour and enjoy... if you like it, which I don't but I drink gin straight if I have no mixer so what do I know 🤷♀️.
Annnd
Annnnd
Annnnd finally this brings me to lovely...
#5* Amaretto Fizz I wanted something a little different here too. Something I wouldn't choose for myself but would most definitely have a bash at. (That means have a go not a wank, that'd be weird). So in order to make this little dizzy darling here's what you'll need:- 400ml Disaronno (yeah I suppose that's enough to get you tipsy) 600ml orange juice (for your vitamin c levels of course, got to beat them winter colds) 2 x 75cl bottles sparkling wine (because wine drunk is the forward, and no better time to ruin your life than round Christmas) strips orange zest (to make it look ooh la la).
To make this cocktail:-
Throw it all in one big ass jug, bowl, pan, shoe if you like, whatever will hold it! Pour into glasses and add a little orange zest strip to each one if it makes your life better, and serve 😁
Now you have a few fresh and fruity cocktails to kick your booty, you have absolutely no excuse to not be getting a little buzzed over Christmas (unless you're skint then soz).
Some of these are just absolutely gorgeous and some are an acquired taste I'm afraid but don't know until you try do you? And usually I'm already half gone before I try anything new (alcohol wise 😈) so it's just as much of a surprise to me as it is to you my little loves.
these recipes are courtesy of bbc online and added a little of my own flare to make it that bit more me 🤷♀️ tis my blog I shall do this shit.
Hope you all venture out and try some of these, and if/when you do please let me know what you thought, I love knowing my little blog is helping the ladies and lads of the land to get royally sloshed and what not!
Until next time elfies...
Don't be a stranger and stay safe 💖💖
x.x