Christmas jokes

I love stupid things, I love being daft and you know what else I love... a bad dad joke! Because they are so blatantly bad you just can't help but laugh, and that's not just what christmas is about it's what LIFE is about.

So I thought what better way to celebrate than some really shitty jokes because I love them and so do so many people because at the end of the day who buys crackers and isn't disappointed if they don' have a crappy arse joke to tell at the table?

So here's the top 20 worse in my book...

#1* What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis 😂.

#2* Who is Santa's favourite singer? Elfis Presley hahahahaha!

#3* Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? Because they always drop their needles 🌲.

#4* What carol do they sing in the desert? O Camel Ye Faithful 🐫.

#5* Who's Rudolph's favourite singer? Beyon-sleigh 🦄.

#6* What's the most popular Christmas wine? “I don't like sprouts!” (aint that the truth, I love sprouts though 🙈).

#7* What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap 🎁

#8* What happened when Santa got stuck in a chimney? He felt Claus-trophobic! Hahahaha!

#9* How do snowmen get around? By riding an icicle 🚴‍♂️.

#10* How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? On the dark side.

#11* How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited? He keeps a logbook.

#12* What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps.

#13* Why is it getting so hard to buy advent calendars? Their days are numbered.

#14* What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack 🎅.

#15* What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson (vrum vruumm).

#16* What do you call a dog who works for Santa? Santa Paws 🐶.

#17* What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker 🦆

#18* What goes Ho, Ho, Ho, thump? Santa laughing his head off 🤣🤣🤣.

#19* What do Santa's little helpers learn at school? The elf-ebet hahahahaha!

#20* What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments.

Alright these are terrible 😂 but what Christmas jokes aren't though 🤷‍♀️? I just thought I'd keep a lighter mood around Christmas because who doesn't want it right?

I ho ho hope everyone had at least a little giggle off this or if not an eye roll like I did 😂.

Until next time santas and Ms Clauses...

Don't be a stranger and stay safe.

x x