My 2018 - Shall we recap?

Lets start at the beginning (obviously Gem you t** 🙄)

Jobless in January - Well I got majorly f***ed over by my job. Not the job that I'm in now, this was my job from last year, I wont say where I will just say in the steel and metal industry - my skills are interchangeable I'll have you know that haha! I was told to go in and when I did 40 minutes later I got call telling me that I shouldn't be in despite the BIG boss telling me I was permanently at this terminal now. So FIRST day back of the new year and I was made jobless, absolute b******s I know! Just my luck right? Lets not forget that I had absolute murder with said boss because I had a Romanian stalker that I acquired through working for this company (he worked for them also) and no I'm not exaggerating I can go into this for you in future if anyone would like. Note I will never mention the company or any real names because I'm not an idiot and I am still in contact with a lot of great people who work there.

So I ended up jobless in Jan.

Funny little Feb - I say funny because it was crazy how quickly things had turned around. Okay so It was technically Jan it turned around but what's life without a little dramatic effect right? So end of Jan/ beginning of Feb I started working at a loan company, FINALLY , after the stress and lack of sleep from worrying that I was going to end up homeless through not having rent money or not having universal credit (FYI signing on for money after years and years of being completely independent and working is absolutely soul destroying) on time, I GOT A JOB! It seemed majorly dodgy because of how quickly they got me in and things went through, but I will hold my hands up, completely legit. After meeting my manager and being told he was going to be, we had our first fall out, now I always have my birthday off, it's in March so it's never an issue, I was always in school on my birthday so I feel I've paid my dues in adult life right? His words were (before we had even opened our shop) "sorry to burst your bubble but if we open in that week not a CHANCE you're getting them 3 days off". Wouldn't mind prancing round like the queen of Sheebah, get back to spying on your old neighbours like a lurker with your ratty little barking slippers, cheeky b*****d only came from managing a Costa and called ME 'awfully bootle', funny coming from someone from old swan but whatever I don't really judge on area... p***k. Well there was murder my face blew up and I flipped out, we had an argument IN TRAINING! This wasn't even working, it was training in a class room before we had training out in the field before our shop even opened... hello?! So bad taste in my mouth straight away! We went to Birmingham training which was awful because they didn't give us any money for food etc, but said they would reimburse us. I don't know if anyone is aware but reimbursement doesn't feed you for the 5 days you are away, if my family hadn't give me some money to survive I would 100% have starved. Either way I got back home after training and actually having a ball with the people I met and got a call about a job I had snook off to an interview for before one of my training days started, and I GOT THE JOB. I didn't even look for it I was head hunted and this job was literally across the street. So I took it straight away, I was so happy. Saved me at least £60 in travel fares alone, so the very next day I walked into the costa by where our new shop was (they fudged the location so it was completely wrong side of Liverpool and even that one wasn't open, absolute shit show!).

The other stalker made an appearance. I almost forgot about this. I'm not 100% if I have another stalker but the evidence does make a compelling case leaning toward yes, so much so I have almost called the police, so if you want more on that one... leave me a message in the comments or inbox.

Basically in Feb (3rd occasion of stalker popping up) I was talking to a guy on messenger and he got a call off a number, they didn't even hide it! And they were saying I was their girlfriend and he should stay away, saying all these vile things about me and saying they were outside his house, luckily the address they said was his old one, but threatened to stab/shoot him and he should come outside, so him being a man did but it was okay because like I said - wrong house. That is the short version but I almost forgot it and it's a pretty big situation, so I told him I was going to stop speaking to him because this type of theme has been going on for almost 2 years now. Were still friends, in fact when the last thing happened he is one of the people who connected the dots of the 4 things that have happened.

Magnificent March - Like I said my birthday was in March, I had started my new job, which I absolutely loved. I had my birthday too and we had a booth which was great. I had an absolute ball from what I remember, I ended up drinking everything in my mates at 10.30 the next morning sat in her 'hoarding room' as she calls it while her mum was cleaning everywhere up. She just likes to clean, ah Sandra. I didn't even realise a guy I had gone on a Costa date with (wow I have a lot to do with Costa in 2018) was trying to get in touch to meet up on my birthday night out... I was in no fit state, I was busy laughing at my hands if I'm brutally honest. I don't remember all that much of March, Paddy's day was great, ended up in a booth for free which was fab. Oldest brother turning 17 was great. Easter when my dad bought me loads of chocolate as if my love handles can handle that one, and my mum got me a fruit hamper cos the woman bloody knows me!!! She's a good egg and I was absolutely made up!

Are we in April? I legit don't remember much of April but I do know I was still doing my Krav Maga and extra personal training and any classes in the gym I could get in order to look my best for my modelling catwalk in June for MIND (amazing charity, I highly recommend looking into it).

Marvellous May - Oh the Catwalk was nearly here, exciting, but really sad with dieting etc. Had my littlest brothers 7th birthday, so cute. Don't remember very much of May to be honest so lets just assume I was drunk or tired through most of it, I that's probably the most accurate. Fourth appearance of my possible stalker this month too, sorry almost forgot that one, so MAYbe May wasn't so marvellous. I don't want to antagonise this horrible b***ard, I'm about 1 step away from waking up to roses with the heads cut off and a box full of angry maggots. Can we just pause for a second while I finally appreciate how much shit I must go through for me to actually FORGET when this stalker is popping up, I mean it's only 4 instances but somehow something that would terrify most people just casually slips my mind. What even is that? Soz dude you're clearly not top of my list 😳 haha... don't kill me please!

Just do it June - 1st of June was my modelling walk! This was great, my cousin did my hair which I loved and had a lot of compliments on, I went Grecian themed. I need to add yes I've done a bit of freelance modelling, nothing paid it was usually for my friends portfolio, he is an actual photographer and apparently likes my face because it has 'character' yep, this is why I don't have caricatures of myself, no one needs to see that! I had my tan done, I had my make up done by my absolute favourite people! Honestly can't recommend them enough I always go to them and got ready there because lets be honest going there is just like being with the girls. Ended up getting everything sorted and getting there. What the organisers of the charity had failed to mention was that the air con was on it's last legs in the height of summer and that the contestant's were going to be in the back room cooped up together like well presented chickens for over an hour! Well I ended up getting along well with my table and making some really good mates there (for the night). I went on the runway with my bloody phone didn't I! Didn't get through to the calendar but a girl who was absolutely beautiful and looked like the real life Moana came up and said "my boyfriend keeps talking about the real little mermaid, that's you, and told me he's voting for you" and that made my bloody night! Knowing I had so much support from people I didn't even know was amazing. I had so many people saying they had voted and even after it my friends were saying to me how they heard people talking about me (in a good way thankfully) saying they were going to vote for me. It was great, I was told it was a fix, I wouldn't be surprised but it was a great night, (until my dress snapped and my friend up so drunk she couldn't work a straw).

Please ignore the white bit right on my boob! The pic was saved to my snapchat camera roll and wouldn't stop buffering 🤬.

Jubilant July - My Holiday to Spain was almost paid off so of course my mate was really casing me now! Only because she's an absolute case and needs everything planned to a tee just so we can f*** up them plans closer to the time! Oh also I didn't mention did I I had murder with a stupid bitch in work! Tried to get me fired, FOR TALKING! Absolutely no exaggeration, stupid pole cat, I wouldn't mind but she makes shit tea, says it all really doesn't it! I won't say any real names so lets call her Sally because that Sally Webster really pisses me off! Oh I also stopped speaking to one of my 'good' mates! She was always an attention Ho, lied a lot, was with her fella for money, we had all caught him out for cheating so many times, had 2 boob jobs in a year because she didn't want anyone having bigger boobs than her, used to take vids of them in her low crop tops in the gym kind of girl. Final straw was when she got back with him after an absolutely horrific threat allegedly made by him (alleged because she told me, no proof) and he threatened to be outside mine waiting for when I got in from a night out... er squeeze me?! No matey no! Did she do or say anything but ask me to send her screen shots of the booth I had won so he knew she hadn't paid for it with HIS money, no did she f***. Shit show of a friend.

And there's August - So I had completely cut my 'friend out' she invited me places but I wouldn't go, so what did she do? Go round all MY friends trying to get them to go out with her, sounds childish but the cold hard truth is that they told me they only put up with her for me so... they hate her and she still tries to this day as she has about 2 friends, wonder why? So I'm going on holiday with my mate and things are going smoothly. Had my best friends birthday which was great we had a good night out, it was also my cousins fiance hen night but my besties birthday? Come on!

September - Ok so everything was sorted for the holiday but I completely forgot I had applied for a show... I wont name the show because I'm still in talks with them. I was the second to last person to apply out of over 40,000 people and I was the last to get through. So I had GAVE my holiday away to my friends friend so she could still go and didn't miss out because I'm not an asshole. She had a good time apparently. I ended up being sent away into hiding and spending 3 weeks away (big thanks to my work for letting me by the way, absolute stars!!) got paid for sitting, attending gym classes, watching movies and shows all day (by the way girl boss, good girls, A typical and Ru Paul, thank you you got me through this - amazing) and even went to legoland! Met some amazing people. I didn't end up on the show but I met some incredible people and it's great to see how things are filmed and get the experience and make the contacts you know? I believe in everything for a reason and all things at the right time. Soon as I got home in true Liverpool fashion I got ready and got out with my little Meg bear and another girl, friend of a friend but lets not. I was like an escaped mental patient, after being locked up with another person day in day out it does strange things to a person and I just wanted to be FREEEE.

Like a ridiculous amount of selfies on my phone because I genuinely hand on heart feel like the me in my phone isn't the same me as the me taking the actual selfie and I've missed that girl... I haven't seen her for almost 3 weeks! I woke up with the visor and a giant blow up microphone from the after party 🤷‍♀️ because there's allllways an after party.

Only in October - I'm home and I'm happy. Seriously I'm so content it's unreal. Got things every week, I have a new facebook and twitter because, well, my old ones weren't suitable for the show (this deffo isn't but I'm an open book I can't help it). When I got back from the show I had over 1200 whatsapp messages, about 20 texts! (I didn't even know anyone still used them except the gym, takeaways and occasionally my nan when she forgets how to use 'the facebook'), I had calls, snapchats, instagram messages from people I didn't even really talk to and had never met because they hadn't seen me post in weeks and apparently missed me. The guy who got threatened in Feb messaged me on 2 things because he was scared someone had done something to me! It was funny to be honest because I didn't think anyone would notice. That just goes to show you really never know who is paying attention and will miss you if you're gone, I had people saying they miss my statuses on facebook and ask me not to go on the missing list again - even a driving instructor I added ages ago for lessons I still haven't paid for or taken! Halloween - YES we ended up in some dodgy party and then just out and about, I won 4 free tickets for a big club party the next night but meh!

Halloween and Christmas are my two favourite holidays, if you don't like halloween I don't understand. I have put smileys over faces as some don't want their pics out there so best to be safe right?

Naughty November - Well! Please tell me if anyone else started off their November or ANY of their months with an email titled "Why women are shaving their face and should you?" WTF, IS THIS A HINT?? Because I've seen hairs since then! I want to know what women are shaving their faces, why though? Stood next to your fella like Shrek and Fiona of a morning with matching foam faces, the couple who shaves together raves together right? Bonfire night, the day went off with a bang. ME GOING OFF MY RED HEAD OF A BANG! I had inquired about a property and they asked "how would you like to be contacted, telephone or email?" so me being me in work ticks email. Got a phone call a few days later "Hello it's "£$"£$ from !"£$%^!"£$%^%^! lettings in regards to the property" me "Ye I'm in work it's why I ticked email". I wont do the whole conversation because it's nowhere near as good on text. Basically she goes on every time I say "I'm in work" she comes back with another conversation thing "I have a questionnaire" "can't you talk" "I need to tell you about the property" even DEAD F***ING SILENCE! This bitch wont quit so I shout I'M IN WORK, EMAIL ME!!! They send the questionnaire and Oh my Days QUESTIONNAIRE?! Mate this was a f***ing paper interrogation. I swear they now have my blood type, my mothers maiden name and my nans national insurance number. And what question did I ask them you may or may not ask that provoked them to want the history of my entire family lineage??? "Can you please let me know if you have a one bed in this building?". And to let me know that they want my job, how long I've worked there MY ADDRESS when my last period was the f***ing lot! Wouldn't mind but 2 days later I was STILL waiting for a reply so I emailed the girl and she goes "oh we have nothing in your price range" Well f*** you Helen! 15 minutes later I got ANOTHER phone call from another stupid bitch from the same lettings company asking me to have a conversation with me about my inquiry that the first stupid bloody cow called me about TWO DAYS AGO aaaahhhhhh I'm so frustrated just talking about it recapping, and these are only the highlights!

So anyway I wont be going with them assholes. I started speaking to a lad and it seemed promising until he said he lived with his mum and started bragging about it, this guy was 26, had a full time job and his own car (brand spankers new audi) and said "ye I live with my mum but can do what I want" well congratulations there chief but nothing quite says turn on like a 53 year old woman knocking on your bedroom door for your smalls because she's doing a white wash... winning - he got deleted. I STARTED MY BLOG! Finally after years of toing and froing and trying to decide the best way to unleash my creative outlet, I found you guys! I'm so glad because all the blogging community is absolutely amazing. I am doing my first ever collab soon too, sent over my material so 🤞. Ended up getting 2 new pairs of glasses for £89 FREE eye test and all and they are fit, my gigs are fit, that's right not only did I pay for it but I am bragging about walking round looking like Dierdre Barlow, sexy speccy 4 eyes and proud! I started back up at krav maga after taking 6 weeks out due to the show etc - love it but ended up on my works night out with grazes on my elbows like I'd been doggy styling it on an old carpet! Glam or what. Whatever I ended up out all night with a shoe only held together by safety pins, we do what we need to survive. Likening myself to Will Smith in I Robot every time I snap a shoe.I got propositioned by several men. I will attach their pics below to save the explanations. Had a baby shower ended up out all night drinking alcohol from a baby bottle all round town etc. Works night out, cousins wedding which was great, my dad and uncle were trying to make me get a pic in the photobooth which was working fine alllll night until we stepped foot near it and BANG it broke, so we improvised as you will see below, props and our phones instead, whatever I'd have only ended up taking pics of the pics to put on social media anyway 🤷‍♀️ they also got me in trouble with the sweet cart as per usual, can't go anywhere with my uncle he's like my partner in crime, if you haven't played chubby bunny I suggest you get some marshmallows and give it a try, maybe not at a christening and not before any of the kids have their sweets. Well he did the same this time, come over to me with a tub of flying saucers (boss sweets) took the lid off and shoves them toward me like a drug dealer, and I knew what was coming "how many of them can fit in your mouth" so me being me I can't really say no to a challenge, I'm like, go on. FYI my limit is 15, they get sharp!! Then Work, work, weighted hula hoop, work.

Dishy December - We're finally on December first and I know the year isn't officially over but a guy I had a weird thing going on with matched me on tinder (I swiped by accident when on the phone with my best mate, I'm dead smart) and started talking and I just don't get it. But whatever I'll talk to anyone. Lets see how December and 2019 go shall we. Who has bets there will be plenty of weird dramatic shit?

This is life.

I'm Gem and this has been my 2018 recap - like an annual evaluation but I don't get paid for it and it's longer. If you made it this far I love you very much and drunk me will love you more!!

As always I wouldn't have had half the amazing year I have without my insane friends and crazy family. My circle isn't the biggest and isn't the smallest, it's just right for me. It's my life raft so thanks you little looney tunes 💖

Until next time My Little Elves.

Don't be a Stranger, and Stay Safe.

x.x