Christmas is an amazing time of year, it is my favourite. Wrapping up all snug and warm to avoid the bitter coldness of Jack Frost, the bobble hats and walking round with hot chocolates, visiting the stalls and trying Christmas cuisine, spending time with the family and friends listening to Christmas songs and watching films.
Or if you're like me DRINKING! We love it, the drinking the atmosphere, it's all great! And being that I'm me, the one thing I'm good at is events! Planning and partying they say do what you love so here I am.
Number 1* Ugly Christmas Jumper Party
Because we all do them. This is great because expectations are low, spirits are high and photos are great! I love this shit. You can get cheap ass Christmas jumpers for under £6 as well, hello Amazon! And the great thing is, the uglier it is the more you're celebrated for it. None of that "oh that dress is like last years" or "that skirt print is ridiculous" you have a snowman who's nose is replaced with a penis sound, your santa as no sack (ha) Perfect! Whatever anyway you can drink as much of what ever as you like because who's going to see your bloat with a Christmas jumper covering it? No one. So you can enjoy and fully embrace the beautiful little Christmas Pudding you have become.
Number 2* Christmas cocktail party - I know what you're thinking, ugh cocktail party blah, boring. But I mean Making your own Christmas cocktails. It's harder and more fun than you think (haha that's what He said). Get a load of people round in their Christmas best and all choose a cocktail to make, or rather make your own. Try do it so your cocktail has to be complete from start to finish by the time a certain Christmas song is over and loser has to drink the winners cocktail. Or their own depending on who's is worse, I'd imagine a panic buyers to be quite too much 👈 so that one.
Number 3* Secret santa party - Not like lets just give a secret santa in advance like in the office kind of thing. I mean get everyone in the party to write down ridiculous things and throw them in a bowl, when everyone is drunk get them to pick one out. This could literally be a dare bowl, you just don't know - may I suggest having someone monitor what goes in there just so someone doesn't throw in something that's a bit too much, because we all know drunk people are influential, but we're also ass holes. So get your drunken dare on and see what the videos are like the next day! You never know who you're going to own after that haha!
Number 4* Northern light party - For people who have been to a traffic light party, this is like that except instead of red, yellow and green, you can go muti coloured like the northern lights. For instance red, yellow and green for the obvious, but then we can have the likes of purple for allowed to kiss under the mistle toe (because it's Christmas) or orange for I have a fuck buddy but if they're here I'll have to switch to red. See what happens with this one you never know do you? Best just make sure your Yellow partner doesn't show up thinking you're both red, because you don't want someone seeing your true colours really aren't that pretty - then we can see the fireworks fly.
Number 5* Drunken Monkey Party - You don't need everything to be monkey themed but I couldn't think of a better name and thought this was cute. You could have a party for the go hard or go home types, where absolutely everything digestible is alcoholic, from the drinks to the food. Willy Wonka style for adults! Vodka gummies, vodka jellies, red wine chicken (doesn't have to be fancy it's just an idea) and baileys truffles, real wine gums the lot. See how honest people become when they can't escape the alcohol, but if your mate starts telling her boss how much she hates her wrinkly old knees, straw hair or tries to wig them, it's time to order in some reserves.
Number 6* Masquerade ball - Self explanatory really. Get a big hall/room/building and light it up with Christmas decorations for a Santa Spectacular. You could even see who has the best Christmas masquerade mask and outfit. See who goes full on who, and who can pull a gorgeous Grinch off. Lets see who has the real elf look in the bag ;).
Number 7* Fancy Dress party
My absolute favourite. In this one we can see who is the most original and who really does own Christmas. From Mrs Claus to all 7 reindeer you just don't know what people are going to turn up as. You could even take this a step further and ask people to bring a drink that represents their fancy dress e.g snowball for a sexy snowman/woman, or jingle juice for santas favourite little helper. Just brace yourself, You just know some ass hat is going to show up in a onesy, which I absolutely dispise. They remind me of them creepy men with fetishes who like to dress up in adult babygrows and have their ass changed. No shit stains don't turn me on thanks ✋.
Number 8* Ice Queen
This may be a bit out there and definitely will take more planning and money, an ice rink party. Probably not the best idea for people getting extremely drunk but this might be the most fun. Limit people to 3 drinks while on the ice, or even let people get rotten drunk but only allow sledding on the ice lead by a designated driver. Turn the ice rink into an ice disco and have people flying round on sleds and racing - if you can get a rink big enough. I couldn't do this myself as I'm absolutely skint but given the chance if I had the money I would definitely be doing this. Any legal stuff e.g release forms would need signing and insurance would need to be purchased but all in all this would be an absolute ball!
Number 9* Queen/King of Lap Land
Not necessarily for santa, see who is brave enough to lap dance sober vs who is good enough to lap dance drunk. Get people to come out of their comfort zones see who really is a dark horse and who is shier than they make out. Time to have a gander at who has rhythm and who volunteers to receive lap dances from who. Maybe it's time to sit back and see some Christmas miracles happen - not for the faint of heart. Winner gets a Christmas gift and is crowned king or queen of lap land, loser gets a shot for every minute they danced for because come on, they deserve it!
Now I don't know if these are your cup of tea but lets be honest I don't care I'm more into Sambucca anyway, see the capital 'S' it deserves respect!
I hope if people don't do these, that they at least jog your mind and make you do something out there that gives you the best blurred memories that you'll never remember 😂.
Until next time you looney little helpers...
Don't be a stranger and stay SAFE 💖
x.x