Now anyone who knows me is so aware that I'm not a judgmental person, or at least I try not to be because we're all imperfect, however CHEATS, I do judge! I think most of us have been there, and if not but you're reading this either it's for comedic value, or it's because you think he might be setting his sights elsewhere right? Because anyone who reads this blog will know that anything I put up here is iron clad, not because it's statistics because it's shit I've been through, so that being said shall we?
#1* You're the cheat
*Golden Rule* of cheating, who doesn't know this?! I don't know everyone's relationships, but what I do know is that about 90% of cheats accuse their innocent partner of being the one in the wrong. Do I need to elaborate more? No? But I will anyway. So here's a few examples... He strolls in late, you ask where he's been he starts the whole "I told you why are you asking so many questions, don't you trust me?" I'm sorry what now?! THOSE words!!! You didn't even need to question your trust before he told you why you should. "Who are you talking to?" every time you're texting? He never seemed bothered before now all of a sudden every time he has his phone it's out of your sight, but when you're on the phone texting your mum you're suspect number one and clearly having it off with Phil down the road?! Don't think so matey, about time you ask him don't you think and lets see the sparks fly! Last one because I don't want to over do it so early on. The 'You've got someone else haven't you?' BALLS EVERYWHERE!! Why on EARTH would someone randomly say this mid argument? It's irrelevant, wouldn't cross your mind... that's right, it wouldn't cross YOUR mind, because only a guilty person would be thinking this all the time? Because blaming you means if you blamed him now that would just be you copying him and deflecting right? WRONG!! If you don't want to accuse then ask him why he is asking you, and if his answers are him mirroring what he has been doing I.E. 'You've been distant' when he has and 'you changed your hairstyle' when he has... Tell tale styles kids!! Just listen to Gem here, I know it because I've lived through it. Of course snakes shed there skin and some cheats slither differently to others but such is life, don't believe me on any of these then please by all means look them up. I just hope these things don't happen, but just in case lets continue.
#2* He doesn't want to meet up with you on nights out
Now I don't mean this in the overly clingy girlfriend/boyfriend way before anyone thinks it, because anyone who knows me knows I NEED alone time, and time with friends. No. What I mean is when he is super into you when you are alone, and on a date, and he gives you all the attention and tells you how amazing you look on nights out and that he doesn't want anyone near you. Until you're both on nights out at the same time in the same places and for some unknown reason he doesn't want to meet up, and trust me here if he wanted to he would. No matter what! I have one of my lovely exes to thank for showing me this little golden nugget of fuckboy wisdom! He said to me the first time we met "of course I came and found you in town, even though my phone died, if I want to find you I'll always make the effort to do it" and Wow was that a good little piece of advice, one that actually lead to me realising what a cheeky cocky little s**t he was. I'm sure you know this but sometimes it takes some ranting crazy arse tiny female to write it down on a blog so you can see it for yourself, if a man WANTS to, he will. This applies to everything, being loyal, spending time with you, CHEATING, a mans will is everything. So if he isn't meeting you on nights out and you're a couple and he doesn't even check or answer any call etc on nights out, he's either twisted more than a helter skelter or he's got a side chick... either them or he doesn't like you and I would rather the latter.
#3* He over compensates
RED FLAG! If your fella is over compensating, like getting you flowers, being extra nice when he hasn't been the most communicative and saying things like "If I was cheating I would be speaking to you constantly so you didn't suspect" or "he's daft him why is he cheating with her, he was obviously going to get caught it's stupid" or alllllways banging on about why it's so stupid to cheat and more importantly the WRONG ways to do it, then girl he's deflecting and overcompensating. Trust me, I've been there! You don't go on about it because you aren't doing it, so why would he?
#4* The disappearing man
If I could shake my head over blog I would right now. All too often we turn a blind eye, we're all guilty of it, even just the once is once too much, but hind sight is a great thing right? If your fella is suddenly doing a bump for a day and you aren't hearing anything and his excuses or 'reasons' for being so silent all of a sudden are bleak then you really need to watch your own back. This one is more than likely with their side chick or side dick! A man who has someone else because they are a plain rat head will only care when you're gone, so one sure fire way to see this, as hard as it is, is blank him. Leave him to it. Make sure you look for any patterns though because trust me, patterns are your friend. If that little shitwhit is silent every Wednesday afternoon and every Saturday morning and his excuse is (lets give him 3 consecutive weeks) "I was asleep babe" then no. He might be nose deep in some chest pillows but sleeping isn't why. And watch out for him using your hobby as his excuse to do this, for example I have a nap every day, and sometimes 2 if it's a weekend, I love sleep, and boy did my ex play on this. So he'd say "I was asleep sorry", oh ye okay mate that's why your phone was on aeroplane mode and you never have a nap on a f***ing Wednesday, so you happen to fall asleep every Tuesday and Thursday with your phone on aeroplane, sorry no! That shit doesn't happen in real life, if he 'just falls asleep' he wont have time to plan his phone right? But I let him off because I sleep a lot so of course I wouldn't think twice, until I saw a pattern. So if he never goes to the gym or sees his mates or family through the week and all of sudden out of nowhere your messages aren't getting through or he was blanking you or forgetting to call when he said he would because he 'was with his mum' or 'with the boys' girl I call bullshit. And that shit stinks!
#5* His phone becomes life
This kind of ties in with what I was saying in #4. This is the 21st century babes, who doesn't have their phone on them? In fact a study conducted shows that the majority of people don't like their phone to be more than an arms reach away, and it's kind of true. But if he is constantly checking his phone, he's obsessed with it, then you have cause for worry. What's even funnier is when he will constantly be texting one of his "mates" and actually looks like he's having a ball. You know that smirk? That one you see when he's got his horn dog on? Suddenly he's making that face when his mate texts him? All day? Because they are gym buds but the only things getting thinner are his hair line and his bank account and the last time you saw him smirk like that was when you sent him a cheeky pic. Now unless good old Michael's sending him nudes that isn't his mate he's texting! Please don't get this confused with your fella having an inside joke with his best mate and not wanting to show you, because he's probably laughing at your best mates big nose, or getting memes sent about his ex and last thing he needs is you bouncing a jimmy choo off the back of his head because you got jealous. You need to read the room, and just notice if his mannerisms change and his phone habits. Trust me this one is a dead giveaway in my experience. If his phone suddenly gets more attention than your lady garden, You need to hop it.
#6* No sexy time
I just couldn't. If your fella suddenly isn't wanting it with you when before you couldn't turn round without him trying to mount you, then there are questions you really need to start asking. Anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on will say this. Unless he has some problems, there could be a whole rainbow of issues from health problems to mental health problems and just good old life stress so please don't just start accusing your man for having it off with the village bike because he wont give it to you on the reg all of a sudden. Ask! If he acts all chipper etc and you notice 2 other signs off this post then odds are he's cheating. Men like sex. Women like sex. It's natural and people don't just go off it for no reason. Everyone has their dry spells I suppose, but if he's distant for no reason and it's making you feel shit, but you see him eyeing up other prospects, odds are babe it isn't just his eyes that are wondering.
#7* Social Media
Ah the bane of our lives. Social media is an addiction and a way of doing literally everything, how many times have you got your mates round just so you can sit and ignore each other but like each others shit and tag everyone in posts on Facebook when they are literally in front of you? I do it all the time. This is how relationships work now. Not really but still, not far off am I?
If he's getting likes all the time off a certain girl then keep an eye on that one, because girl, likes don't lie. However another way to tell, if he has you on Facebook and tags you in eeeeeverything but asks you not to tag him in anything, or doesn't accept onto his wall and you notice none of his Facebook friends ever likes or even seems to notice anything he's putting on your wall. then girl what you have is a snide! I say this having lived it. If he is getting loads of likes on Facebook and good old aunty Dot is liking every post, and yours are the only ones she hasn't, ask yourself, why? The answer - settings. If he is privatising you on Facebook he's keeping you a secret from someone but trying to keep you sweet.
#8* Big Spender
Cheating. Costs. Money!
I'm talking actual affair cheating not going home with a random easy breezy who doesn't mind going home with her frenchies in her bag at the end of a night out. No shade. I'm talking about an actual side chick. If a man has another girl on the go, odds are she is going to cost him money. BIG cash withdrawals = no paper trail. Of course you can only really spot this if your man shares funds with you, but if you are together and all of a sudden the man is skint when he was alright going out with his mate 2 weeks ago, you have to wonder why? My ex had the best cover story ever I swear the lad was a criminal master mind why he ended up sleeping on his deceased nans couch is beyond me, stringing 2 girls along and still bedding a random girl while taking the 2 of us out alternative weekends and blagging us both, absolute pro! No time spared. You need to be able to spot a smooth operator. If he suddenly has no money, springs debt from nowhere but tells you about said debt then you know odds are he's got someone else. A man struggling with debt through gambling, drugs etc isn't going to brazenly tell his girl, men like to seem like caretakers, they like to be needed and hate to be vulnerable right? at least that's what nature and history have taught us. And if he is usually on top of it all but suddenly this week he can't take you out and his explanation is this sudden money he doesn't have? Girl you've got your self one right little grot-bag and you need to get rid. Without good explanation, comes more questions.
#9* Most Important
TRUST.YOUR.GUT!
It's not called women's intuition for nohing. I feel like I'm insane, I'm not one for jealousy in fact I think it's an absolute relationship ender and if you don't trust anyone ever then that's your issues and you need to work on that before bringing someone else into your life and putting them through a barrage of unnecessary accusations and man traps. I tend to have really strange dreams that put me in the know. For instance I had a dream that a lad I was on and off with for 2 years was suddenly not going to be bothered when I left him, and that is exactly what happened (I left him because he was effortless). I also had a dream my ex boyfriend was cheating and lying to me about a girl from his past that I knew nothing about to the point I asked him, this was also true. To make matters worse I had a dream about another ex and a bad drug habit and there being a text on his phone, so yes I was THAT girl and HATE it, but I looked and there was the bloody text I dreaded! So like I say, go with your gut because either you are going to be right, or you are going to be wrong but something isn't right, either with them or with the way you perceive them so might as well leave before things get messy and you waste both your time and get the psycho ex mark!
These aren't all iron clad alone, but these are 100% things myself, friends and family have experienced. They aren't anything new, there are only so many signs people can exhibit when they are being cheating rats, and if you are in a relationship then of course things will have to change on their end, even in the smallest of ways! Trust me these are tried and tested, unfortunately. But the facts don't lie, and neither do I. End of the day, if you think someone is cheating, you should just leave, everything comes out in the end anyway, it isn't worth your sanity...
Now I've thrown a spanner in the works yet again, I'm signing off.
If there is anything anyone would like me to cover, feel free to send me a little message and I'll be more than happy to take suggestions, I could rant about anything :)
Until next time, don't be a stranger and stay safe.
x.x
