Things you shouldn't say to a guy not on lock

Come on girls we've all been there, you start seeing someone new, and you get attached. Maybe it was a friend with benefits who was extra beneficial 😉. Maybe it's literally just a friend you got feelings for and ended up dating but that's the latter for him. Or maybe it's actually someone you were or are dating dating and you want it to progress but arent sure if he does. Well let me just run a few things by you to try help you avoid scaring the guy off, because if you really like him, ladies, sometimes we're a bit scary 🤷‍♀️.

#1) DON'T invite him to the future

Right so you've been dating this guy for about 2 weeks, unless you have a really special kind of guy and an INSTANT reciprocated connection, then please, please for the love of penis don't start trying to force this guy into making plans with you. I'm kind of manish in this situation, sometimes people just like the thought of a free flowing future and not knowing what it may hold and just love being in the moment. Inviting them to a club next week is one thing, but inviting him to your second cousins wedding in Cyprus in August 2023 after you've been seeing him for 2 weeks since Jan 2019 is just asking for him to retreat quicker than you can say I do.

#2) asking him where he sees this going

🙈 PEOPLE this is NOT a harmless question. Trust me! This has made even me run before. I know the feeling, you're seeing someone, haven't quite made your mind up but things seem good and they seem pretty chill, you think eh maybe it's just me being a paranoid commitophobe, then they ask you the question. Now if you find yourself feeling the need to ask this question, then babes, it's going nowhere in a hurry. If it's early days you shall be laughed at and probably called a bunny boiler. If it's a couple months down the line then why are you still here? Or if like me it was about 3 weeks in and he asks 'so where do you think this is going?' When you haven't even had the exclusive talk then the commitophobe is going to come out in heaps and bucket loads. I felt like a rat trapped in a corner, my heart was having palpitations, my stomach was doing flips and not the good kind where you suddenly want to whip you knickers off, I could even hear the blood gushing in my ears! Seriously I had to excuse myself and take a 5 minute breather, it. Was. Terrifying. I may need to include here this was a friend with benefits I had previously dated for a couple weeks. But really just let things flow, and if you start to worry and it's been over six weeks... then maybe bring it up. But please for the love of love, be subtle.

#3) "who's she?"

This question is reserved for girlfriends and exclusives, sorry but it is. Now I must specify there is a difference between just seeing a girl on their facebook or insta and asking out of complete curiosity, and asking because you're an overly attached love fiend. Now there are only a few ways to approach this with tact, but always approach with caution. Because by asking this you may receive a great answer, you know 'she's my cousin' or 'my friends girlfriend' or 'some lesbian that brushed my arm once' I don't know, just something that puts you completely at ease. OR and be prepared for this, you may receive a less than favourable answer, especially if you two are just messing around to get yours and pass the time (he thinks meh 😈). Brace yourself for a barrage of answers that could feel like a harpoon to the heart such as 'just a girl I'm talking to' 'some girl' (we all know she's some girl your peen shows off for you horny fucking flipper), or even worse 'a girl I was seeing' because next thing you find yourself going from the girl he has fun with to a mildly professional FBI detective with body language and a doctorate in advanced psychology under your belt trying to decipher if he loves this girl or your fanny can compete. Trust me darling you ask him "who is she" and you're one step away from becomming the crazy girl meme.

#4) my mate said we look good together

I have known a girl to say this to a guy she thought she was dating, but was very very clearly being used for a booty call. This all became so apparent whem she left her (apparently £40) umbrella at his house and he just asked if she couldn't get another one, or when he left his ipod at hers (when they were new) and to avoid seeing her again, told her to keep it 🙈.

She starts telling him how good they look together, and how much she likes him and they have a really good time. This guy worked at a bar and tried it on with me first until I said I didn't like his cocky shit attitude and he set his sites to her once I high fived his fod to drive him in the other direction and the DICK still said my attitude made him want me more... girl he's a chaser!!! You don't chase a chaser, you're doing their work for them and they LOVE it. They know you're a sure thing and they get bored in 0-3 seconds (ironically about how long they last in bed) and keep you on the back burner until they want you at the end of the night because they couldn't get anyone more to their taste. If you tell them your FRIENDS or even worse FAMILY think you look great together they already know two things, 1- you talked about them to the people closest to you, this should be out of sight out of mind until you want them in the bed simples. And 2- you're on lock, they have you, they snap you'll come running because simple nature rules, if you are attracted enough to be picturing you together, you're already in deep enough to be putting up with their shit and babe, this isn't a monkey cage, that shit just doesn't fly.

And finally

#5) ANY DRUNK TEXT

No no no no no! Okay?! This is mainly aimed at the friends with benefits and crush more so than the early days dater, we can let a drunk text or two slide for a guy you've been dating for a couple weeks, it may be a bit heavy because drunk people don't know boundaries but hey ho he may like it I don't know. Oh wait, yes I do! As we all know I dated a maaaaajor fuck boy for 2 years on and off and while he may have told me he loved me and wanted us to be together, he deffo didn't! Lad just wanted a swifty and when I say this I mean it the lad was like Bolt in the sack, aw bless him.

Now if you're only sleeping with a guy or into him but don't know if it's reciprocated, what's the worst way to play it cool? Other than showing up outside his house in say nothing style... drunk text. Nothing screams I LAV YOU more than a text at 3 am on a Saturday saying "I miss yoir dace' aka I miss your face... girl why you thinking about his face, there are 50 more in that club and atleast 5 of them are thinking of you naked? Sad but true. Just if you do, do what I do... delete that shit and hope either he didn't see it or he did but he will pretend it isn't there like a good sport 😁. Side note if he replies something funny or nice, keep him he may just be worth the time and embarrassment.

But in all honesty girls, always go with your gut it will NEVER lead you in the wrong direction, honestly trust me. Men go for who/what they want. I feel on some level we all know this, and it doesn't matter how new agey or how much of a feminist you are my dear, I am a feminist too, I still love the D and know the games we all play. I know that if a man is interested he will show it. In the way he comes over, or the glances, the smiles, the awkwardness or in my fellas style... getting tongue tied on a regular basis because the smooth talker tries to think about what he's saying so much around me so he doesn't sound stupid, that he makes it sound like his mouth isn't big enough to accommodate his own tongue the little love, he's a good egg.

But if you want some body language info from me or tell tale signs a guys into you or how to play it, feel free to let me know, I played the single game for a long time and in doing that I learnt all the tricks of the trade (or enough to actually get someone I want anyway).

Hope this helps or atleast gave you an insight or a giggle guys. For now I'm off to bed until next time.

Don't be a stranger and stay safe

x.x