So, as people may or may not know I had what I'd describe as a stalker for around 2 years. I've not wrote about it however I'm going to if anyone would be interested it was quite the ordeal and for the identity of said person to still be a mystery, it's a touch unsettling. That being said it may make you enjoy what happened to me today even more...
Things between me and Pab have been really really good lately, of course we've had our ups and downs, but I mean we've had murder with our energy supplier (they've been disgusting), we forgot about water so I just had to sort that, bills bills bills, on top if revving ourselves up for possible custody battles next year for his daughters along with his grandad dying a month ago and the funeral only being last week... not to mention me being 29 weeks pregnant this Friday. I'd say we've done really well.
However as anyone who even remotely knows me will say, soon as things are going good for me, they stop, the universe throws one hulk sized spanner in the works, gets Zeus to lecky shock the shit out of it and throws a poseidon sized wave on top just yeno, to shake it up for me me that little bit more.
So we were minding our business today, I've been off work the past 2 days with my right tonsil scarily inflamed, so calming it down before the baby shower Saturday. And we get a delivery, it's my cake topper for said baby shower. Ten minutes later *knock knock knock* heavy on our door, Pab jumps up because God forbid I answer the door, comes in and says 'did you order something else?' Now I have extreme baby brain, no exaggeration (side note is pregnancy dyslexia a thing? I'm asking a genuine question) so of course I answered 'nope, not that I'm aware of' so he opens it and all I hear is 'WHO'S MARK???' Well I, like a lot of other unfortunates have this ridiculous nervous laugh, always have, always will, it's so unfortunate. So I start smirking and laughing and repeating 'I don't know? Why would a random Mark send me a gift?' I gave it to him to open because, well, I'm pregnant and if it's anthrax I'm sorry Pab I love you, but I'm keeping this little baby boy safe 🤷♀️. He tears it open and all it says is 'enjoy your gift, Mark' and inside is a fluffy baby bear romper. Now don't get me wrong, this shit is so cute! But when it's from some random stalker man, not so cute, IT'S NOT CUTE MARK!
Fast forward to a really stagnant atmosphere, so tense, Pabs is stood by the fire just repeating 'not doing it again' I'm sat on the couch head in hands saying 'I can't do this again' so I thought Nope, absolutely not a thing, he can flip out but I'm an adult woman about to be a mother, I want answers! So I ring Amazon. Spoke to a lovely woman and she is great, however she tells me that the name 'Mark' may be a fake but the email it's linked to is not a name just a combination of random numbers and letters. But she assured me she would email them and get them to contact me.
I don't know how you are thinking, however me, I was like hhmm ok, so, I have a stalker, sending me baby shit, and even though they have my address you NOW want them to send something to my EMAIL ADDRESS or my PHONE NUMBER! I have to let it happen don't I?! 1 hour passes, no email. 2 hours pass, no email, 3 hours pass, NO EMAIL! So I call thwm back and get what can only be described as possibly the LEAST interested 'advisor' ever. He wanted me to 'keep the gift or dispose of it' and wanted the conversation done. Told him this was in no way acceptable and DEMANDED a manager, that's right, I'm that bitch. You're messing with my family and my relationship and YOU think I'm going to just sit there and take it like some victim, oh no no! I didn't take 2 years of Krav Maga to be someones bitch! So I got that manager oh yes I did! And he, was, splendid. He understood the worry, cause for panic, he looked up the other account and assured it wasn't a scam but he would send it to internal investigations at *internet company* to look into this in all matter of seriousness and give me the information once they found who it was so I could pass this onto police if it was anything or anyone untoward. I thanked him and got off the phone. Within minutes I had an email co firming this, which was great. Or... would have been...
So I post 2 statuses on facebook, one asking who Mark is, revealing that it really isn't funny if anyone is trying to mess with us! I then put up another, including a picture of the romper. People are suddenly professionals 'it's a buffer scam' (it wasn't), 'it's a fraud' (it wasn't), 'it's nothing to worry about' (it, wasn't!). Pab put a status up with the picture of the romper absolutely furious at this mystery Mark!
I'll explain why this was such a sore subject for my Pab, with his eldest daughter, after she was born him and the psycho (yes psycho) ex received gifts off a man named, you got it, Mark. This man then claimed to be his daughters father. Vile, I know. But turned out the psycho ex in fact WAS cheating for quite some time, however you only need to see the daughters face to be 100% certain she is my Pabs child. Absolutely no denying it, trust!
So ofcourse this was all too familiar.
So, I said it was his psycho ex or some stalker of his, he wasn't having it because, and I quote 'they don't know where we live'. Well mateyo, neither do any men I don't know but apparently a stalker for me is so much more likely than one for you, even though it's the EXACT same thing that already happened to you... eh?!
So we had this crazy to and fro, he said he was now paranoid (I understood) this lasted all of 10 minutes, I broke down, this too, lasted all of 10 minutes. My break down was due to the fact I've moved twice since being stalked, accumulated another whilst having moved the second time (some Romanian man, we will call him Sven) I had made a new facebook and twitter too, complete change and lockdown! And I STILL felt that now my unborn baby might be in jeopardy, now I'm never ever scared of people for myself, I mean the worst they can do to me is kill me right? Whatever! However my baby?! No no no come at me, I'll fight you, I'll kill you, I don't care so long as my baby is safe I don't give a shiny gold shite what happens to me as I think any parent worth half a carrot out there will completely agree 🤷♀️.
I sent the picture to all my contacts via whatsapp with an explanation in a desperate bid to get an answer from someone, anyone!
I don't look at my phone for about 10 minutes and I see a message on the work teams group chat 'I just saw one of your mates said she sent it, you must be so relieved' I'm sorry what now?!
I looked and it was only bloody Rachel, the scattiest of my mates. If it was going to be anyone ofcourse it was going to be her! She had sent it from her BROTHERSaccount as she doesn't have one, informing me 'I asked for your address to send it last week' as she wasn't going to be able to make it to the baby shower. She. Was. Furious! Thwy made her look a creep, they missed off her message, they signed it from her BROTHER! She even asked if I had thought of her brother... not really Rach 😂.
But Pab had. He had gone through all the Marks on his facebook, all the Marks on my facebook, I swear if you were a Mark or you were mates with a Mark, to Pab, you. Were. A. Suspect! 😂. So to Marks everywhere, sorryyyy.
So that's me having to look a right arsehole on facebook and whatsapp and having to go to work tomorrow knowing full well that everyone in work knows I love myself so much I accused my own mates brother of stalking me while Pab was handing out the death threats like chocolate fucking bourbons 🤷♀️.
But in other news I informed and thanked the company for being great about it, I put out a public status laughing at myself, and it will take me 3-5 business years to forgive my friend 😂 but we'll survive.
On the plus side we got the cutest romper and we still have, because despite Pab wanting to burn it and film it to put public for mystery man Mark to see and get the message, I made him leave it alone and it's so tiny and fluffy and adorable as you have probably seen.
Moral of the story don't accuse an imaginary man of stalking you, your unborn baby or your partner, before giving your friends the opportunity to get out of work or have a break. Also... don't think strangers are that kind 😂.
I hope this cheered everyone up, because it made a holy show out of us. But our relationship is solid! Even after thinking someones lurking us, we're still tip top 😘 boss.
Until next time jellies and rockets, don't be a stranger, and stay safe.
x.x