Okay so I said I wasn't going to make this a mummy blog. But I ALSO said I was going to be fucking HONEST! On my twitter I announced I would bare all in a sense and tell you the bad shit about being pregnant that NO ONE seems to tell you about, and why? Because they want us all to procreate more? Because a nanny state government can't nanny us if they aren't able to scare us with our own off spring? Possibly. But it could also be because no one wants to admit how low they felt at a time everyone makes out is the happiest of their lives. But let me tell you, with all those hormones whizzing around your body and all the changes, it is perfectly normal to feel bad!
And let me tell you my experiences...
Depression...
Oh so no one told you about pregnancy depression? Funny that, because they didn't tell me either. They put it in my midwife binder for me to peroose if you will, you know the one time you can retain absolutely NO information in your life? For fucks sake England I put my ubderwear on wrong three times last week and you want me to remember a whole binders worth of new shit. I had sex and got pregnant I didn't sign up for fucking antinatal level 27! But yes pregnancy depression is absolutely a thing. You have all these hormones, they are just fizzing and bubbling up to thw surface like that scene in the BFG with wizz pop and before you know if you've told your boyfriend you know he doesn't love you and started crying at your work desk for the 5th time that day because you never imagined it would be this hard, but it is, and you aren't alone! Your partner needs to learn to understand (if they have mental health more power to you because honestly that shit is the fucking devil to be mixing togetger) but you know what, strong couples aren't made from giving up when the going gets tough. You need to care for each other but if your partner isn't supporting you, then time to call it a day! If you feel really down, use the number your midwife gives you please, you know their mobile number on the front of your binder. Or go to the drs just don't leave it and never take anti depression/anxiety meds that aren't prescribed for you during pregnancy either. There is always help.
Forgetting your life...
I don't mean literally YOUR LIFE IS OVER aaahhh, however shits about to change. It's ok to hold a bit of resentment about this or be completely teriffied about what you're about ti step into. My boyfriend told me he was scared at some point I would miss my old life, now I could have said no noooo course not I'm 27, I'm completely ready. But no! Because I don't sugar coat shit! I admitted yes, I will miss it, yes I WILL most definitely get scared and yes, there will completely be days I feel down because my whole life now revolves around this other human that I've given up everything for. I worked so so hard for my own independence and I feel I only got a taste before getting pregnant. I was out constantly loving and living my life with not a care in the world for years! But not ever being able to just go 'oh shall we just stay out' again without having to think 'shit who's going to have the baby', yes, that is TERIFFYING! I'm lucky, we have an understanding that if I do experience that worry and want to go out he will have the baby so I can, it's about give and take. I could mever have chosen to settle down with anyone less than the man I have, he doesn't really drink, he likes to stay in and chill out and more power to him. But he understands that me staying in constantly will kill me and my mental health. I chose to settle down because I know I still have freedom and that my friends is the difference. TALK to your partner if you're worried, it's completely natural. Just don't take the piss going out every week, or not coming home etc, you know what I'm talking about...
Forget EVERYTHING...
Now this one is going to be hard for me, because as the title suggests I forget everything. I forgot what street I walk down to get home, I have forgotten several words and it's just getting worse. I forgot the washing was in the machine so had to do it again, absolute waste of products. Leaving the oven and several other appliances on constantly. Forgetting dates, appointments, everything. It took me 10 minutes to spell the word soothe yesterday AND I had to google it. Also as stated above, I put my knickers on wrong twice last week and didn't realise until around 12 hours later the first time and the second time it took me 2 hours and people congratulated me on noticing after only 2 hours that's how bad it's got. I ALSO put my bra on wrong 🙈 HOW?! I don't know, seems when I pay close attention I do it wrong. So you know if you feel you're losing the plot, it's not your fault, just accept it is part of who you are now.
Pains...
Ah the pains. No one told me about the pains, not even the stand in midwife, you know because mine was on holiday for my first appointment which was just swell.
I get pauns a LOT where I'd usually get period pains. You know what when you get them they are scary, and pully and just don't feel right at all. But they are perfectly normal. If only someone had of told me it would have saved me a trip to the drs through unneccesary panic! Back pain, also another normal one so if you suddenly feel like you're being stabbed in the back, no it aint your OH cheating it's your lovely babies way of saying 'make way' remembrt your body has to change so much to accomodate this tiny little person you have made and it aint all magic and rainbows. There is gas, and the shits, and constipation and piles, something I have yet to experience but again they don't tell you! Any questions always ask.
Also headaches, I get them a lot. Now I reached 12 weeks 2 days ago and apparently in early pregnancy it's completely normal, however if it's constant go get your blood pressure checked it's really important!
Energy, it's zero thanks for asking.
Sex drive... either doesn't exist or I could easily be pile driven at both ends and stick round for seconds.
Food...
WELL! This is the absolute Bane of my life. I get starving, then when I think about what to eat I feel sick. I eat something and have to practically inhale it in order to not throw it back up. I haven't had morning sickness but my God I'd prefer it. My fella is like 'what do you feel like' and the only answer I can stomach is 'strawberries' it's not fun. Always hungry but not able to eag hardly anything that fills you and when I do, it's unhealthy and then I'm plagued with guilt. But the way I see it the baby takes all the good shit anyway so I get the crap. I can't see myself getting fat this pregnancy really I can't because I don't eat anywhere near enough to get fat 😂. Some days it's next to nothing because literally everything makes me want to throw up everywhere and others I could easily suck a 14 inch pizza through my eye balls and it wouldn't touch the sides. It's a crazy crazy time.
Look, it's hard. It really is. People fail to tell you all the downs, they just tell you the ups. I just wanted to show you if you feel any of this, you aren't alone! Don't sit and feel like a terrible person or mother to be or mother if you already are and you're pregnant. It's such a hard time in life and you're trying your best to adapt over 9 months (possibly) to the biggest change in your entire life. Everything is shifting and it is COMPLETELY Okay to worry, stress and feel a bit (totally) anxious. I do, every woman does, trust me I've asked every woman I know pretty much. If you're struggling, ask someone. Tell your dr, tell your midwife, tell your partner, tell your friend. Or ring an anon line eg simaritans if you just want an anonymous chat. Just please don't sit and struggle alone. Our hips are getting bigger and our filter is getting smaller 😂 if you want to tell someone who just cut you up in a queue that they are an inconsiderate cheeky arsehole do it! End of the day a pregnant mouth shouts the truth haha!
But just remember, you're going ro have this little diddy person who loves you more than anything in this entire universe and you will have never felt a love for anyone or anything like it. THAT'S why we do this. THAT is why we put our bodies, our minds and our social lives through this. Because I honestly doubt that there is ANYTHING in this world anywhere nesr as worth it as these babies we're about to bring into the world 💖.
Until next time guys and girls.
Don't be a stranger and stay safe.
x.x